Heartbreak, House-Hunting and Sleeping your Way to the Top
Tuesday 25th November
Wednesday 26th November
I don’t expect Mother to understand that banker Boy and I existed in another dimension that night. Such things are hard to let go. And even harder to wrap your silly little mind around if you’re the kind of person that has settled for suburban mediocrity.
Thursday 27th November
Mother found a copy of my cv. I had to listen to her screeching and tearing it to shreds. I think she believes she’s destroyed the only copy. The poor dear is still stuck in the stone age.
Anyway my cv stands out from the masses.
I researched a lot about CVs and it seems honesty is the best policy. The right pub will hire me and I will fulfil all their expectations. Both sexually and professionally. Sometimes it’s hard to bring this much to the table.
Friday 28th November
The bathroom has a hole in the wall where the shower was – but the landlady said she’d fix that, so it’s cosy really.
While we were waiting to sign the lease, I showed Laura pictures of banker boy. She said he’s out of my league. Some friend she is.
Saturday 29th November
I realised I have not written in two weeks. I woke with a pain in my chest and knew the words were clawing to get out.
Sadly, mother insisted we visit my brother instead. That was the most draining 45 minutes of my life. I had to go back to bed afterwards and try to imagine a life in which everything was as simple as it is for Xbox girl. She literally giggles when you say hello. Surely life must be so much simpler that way.
Sunday 30th November
I spent an hour writing poems in St Stephen’s Green with a bottle of wine, it was raining and the pigeons were being little shits.
Monday 31st November
I have been asked to read poems at an event next week. It was a friend of Laura. It is someone she tried to impress into sleeping with her by telling them she knew a poet. Now they are trying to impress her back by inviting me to read at their gig in town.
I must consider how to begin their introduction to my poetic voice. I feel sorry for Laura. Every man in that room will be held by my words, they will want to undress me as my words undress them.