How to Write a Road Runner Cartoon
You may have seen a photo floating about online recently. It’s a list of rules for writing Road Runner cartoons penned by Chuck Jones himself. However, this list was taken from his autobiography and is not representative of the rules they actually used back in the day. Luckily, thanks to a brave whistleblower, I got my hands on the original list. I am happy to publish it here today.
Rule 1.
The Road Runner cannot harm the Coyote because he is incapable of handling a firearm.
Rule 2.
No outside force can harm the Coyote – save for the faceless cruelty of nature that follows an animal throughout their life like an unrelenting vulture.
Rule 3.
The Coyote could stop any time but the last time he did he learned that he is trapped inside a massive domed structure, his life broadcast globally for people’s entertainment.
Rule 4.
No dialogue ever, except for the Coyote’s phone calls to Acme ordering products with which to murder the Road Runner.
Rule 5.
The Road Runner must stay on the road – otherwise, logically, he could be seen as crossing the road and may be mistaken for a chicken by less astute viewers.
Rule 6.
All action must be confined to the natural environment of the two characters – a gargantuan domed soundstage on the dark side of the moon.
Rule 7.
All materials, tools, weapons or mechanical conveniences must be obtained from the Acme Corporation as the broader setting is a capitalist utopia where only one company exists and it sells products to animals.
Rule 8.
Whenever possible, make gravity the Coyote’s greatest enemy. At all other times make it gravy.
Rule 9.
The Coyote is always more humiliated than harmed by his failures. Death is too good for him. This little dog is going to suffer up there on the moon.
Main image via Blogspot
