The Honorary Hunzo | #BringModoToMaynooth Shines Bright After Notre Dame

The recent Notre Dame nightmare has received much media attention, where public outcry can be readily seen on a multiplicity of social media sites. Facebook, Instagram and Twitter are littered with a litany of pictures depicting the Majestic cathedral in flames, or glum before and after selfies etc.  Luckily there were no fatalities or serious injuries to be seen as a result of this disaster.

However one aspect of the Notre dame disaster was overlooked, and has received little media attention. The local caretaker, Mr. Quasi Modo, who resided on the church grounds, and had a private Belfry Boudoir, has lost his livelihood.

Due to Mr Modo’s devout Catholicism he refuses to be placed in French social housing but wishes to be reinstated in another Church, whilst Notre Dame is in the process of being refurbished. French Prime minister Edward Phillipe, has had difficulties relocating Mr Modo, to a suitable abode of his choice. “We are doing the utmost to assist Mr Modo during this difficult time, but he has some unattainable requirements”.

Mr Modo wishes to source a religious building who’s Belfry contains numerous multilingual animated gargoyles and an authentic bell tower, as he “can’t abide”, recorded Bell chiming. Mr Modo has also considered returning to his Irish routes. Unbeknownst to many, the great (x10) grandfather of Mr Modo, Quasi Morahan, emigrated to Paris in 1793 and due to his disfigured appearance, was mistaken by many of the Parisian community for a walking Gargoyle. Mr Modo recently gave interview to the press re his Irish lineage in light of the recent Notre Dame Disaster.

“Yes, it is true, my great great great great great grandfather, Quasi Morahan emigrated to France in search of a better life. Being ginger, pale, freckled and disfigured, he was forced to live a reclusive life in the Belfry of Notre Dame with the Gargoyles. His mother (whom interestingly was also his sister) often sent many letters, as tales of his notoriety could be heard overseas in Ireland. He married a young French Gypsy and assumed the French version of his Irish Surname, Modo. Both the name and the livelihood passed through generations and there have been over 15 Quasi’s and one Quasita (for a month whilst her brother went on holidays) and here I am without roof over my head. I appeal to the Irish Government for assistance.”

Upon hearing the press release, Minister for housing Eoghan Murphy, has appealed to the government to assist Mr Modo, in his hour of need. In light of Ireland being a valued member of the European Community since 1973, Minister Murphy felt it was our duty to extend a warm welcome to Mr Modo, who resides in France, a fellow European member state. Minister Murphy also was influenced by Mr Modo’s Irish lineage and devout catholic faith. An Excerpt of a recent cabinet meeting has been released.

“Lads he’s one of our own. Look at the poor fella. Sure we can shove him up to Maynooth campus church. He could be their mascot or something. Think of the publicity! Tourists love this kind of thing.”

After numerous discussions with the Vice President of Maynooth University, a decision has been reached to transport Mr Modo to Saint Patricks Cathedral, where he will fulfil various gargoyle cleaning and bell tolling duties, alongside guided tours for students and tourists alike. In the aftermath of such a decision it has been said that Maynooth University has risen on the University rankings, surpassing both Trinity and UCD (even with their token bearded homeless male protagonist and swan infestation).

The public also predominantly agree with Minister Murphy, and this is prominently seen in the #BringModoToMaynooth campaign which has over 2000 followers on Twitter nationwide. Taoiseach Leo Varadkar, is due to fly to Paris towards the end of the month, alongside Archbishop Diarmuid Martin to accompany Mr Modo on his first ever Ryanair flight to Dublin. Archbishop Martin recently spoke to the press about his upcoming Journey.

“One of the most fundamental facets of the catholic faith, is helping followers in need. We extend our condolences to France during this difficult time and hope Mr Modo will enjoy his time here on the Island”.

All of us here at HeadStuff are eagerly awaiting his homecoming. #BringModoToMaynooth