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On the 24th of July the UK appointed a new Prime Minister Mr Boris Johnson. Mr Johnson, who is renowned as a lovable jack the lad, aims to deliver the Brexit Bargain by the 31st of October, regardless of the consequences.
“At the end of the day, who really cares about Northern Ireland?! What have they ever done for us? Let’s make Britain great again”
– Boris Johnson Prime Minister.
Mr Johnson’s election came as a pleasant surprise to his supporters, in particular his greatest fan, President Donald Trump. Upon hearing the news, the president apparently “squealed excitedly like a child at christmas”, before instantly taking to twitter…
“We have a really good man whose going to be Prime minister of the UK Now. They call him Britain Trump and they say that’s a good thing“.
Shortly after the tweet, President Trump decided to examine his lineage, to uncover whether there was a genetic link between himself and Boris Johnson. He enlisted the help of a renowned genealogist, who is famous for his role in the genetic testing carried out in two famous American Talkshows Maury and Jerry Springer.
It was uncovered that President Trump was in fact correct in his assertions, and both himself and Johnson shared the same great great great great grandfather twice removed. In his latest publication, “Finding your baby Daddy“, genealogist D.N. Adams refers to the recent tracing exercise carried out for the president.
Reference was made to the duos unmistakably similar blonde straw mane, along with their short stature, and their poor impulse control.
“The two are like brothers. He really is Britain’s Trump”.
However the results have had a catastrophic impact on the Trumps family dynamic.
Upon realising that despite her American citizenship, his wife Melania was truly Slovenian, and not just “kind of foreign”, Mr Trump was forced to take action. In a recent press release President Trump admitted that to keep Melania as first lady, would be “kinda hypocritical“, in light of his recent statements about four ethnic minority democratic congress women.
“If it’s one thing I hate it’s hypocrites.. And I gotta say until I carried out genetic testing, I didn’t realise how Slovenian my wife actually was. I know she mighta mentioned it but… it has really opened my eyes”.
Whether Melania will be told to “go back to her own country” like members of “the Squad” were, remains to be seen.
One thing is for sure Mr Trump has extended an invite to Prime Minister Johnson, to join him for a weekend getaway at his Irish Golf course based in Doonbeg.
“Doonbeg is a bit of a crap hole, but you’ve gotta love that Irish hospitality“.
All of us here at HeadStuff, are looking forward to the kindling of a potential bromance at Doonbeg, County Clare.