Pure Awkward |10| Stephanie

How’s tricks, lads?

Ah Jesus, some stress this weekend. One of the girls had a friend down from Dublin to visit. Jesus! Wait till I tell ya. She walked in the door and I was weak, lads. She was some beour. UNREAL. She was pure nice as well. She was chatting away to me. Sure half of the people the girls have over are pure bitches, like. They wouldn’t give you the time of day, like. Pure sceptic. Taking selfies and talking about getting their nails done. Stephanie was daycent though, to be fair.

Everything was going grand, like, until Kate told me in the kitchen that maybe I was coming on a bit strong, like. She said that Stephanie had a problem with men. Sure what does that even mean, like? She told me that she had no interest in me. Sure, I was hardly going to give up without a fight, like. I sat next to her and was pure nice, like. She was chatting away to me and she even put her hand on the top of my head at one point when she was standing up. Sure, I think it is fair to say, I was in, like. Am I right? Well, that’s what I thought as well and then it all went down hill, boy. She was outside the back of our house having a cigarette and I sat down beside her and she was fierce close to me like. Mixed signals, I tell ya. So here I am, like a fool and I go to lob the gob and she’s all like, get off me! Get away from me! You’d swear I attacked her, like. I should have expected that to be fair. Women are pure mental.



She was pure odd, then after. She gave me the cold shoulder the entire time, like. I didn’t know what to do with myself. Sure, she only led me on like. I didn’t know what to do with myself then, sure she stayed the entire weekend. This was Friday night! I had to feckin’ tip -toe like a feckin’ ghost inside in the house to keep out of the way then the rest of the weekend! The worst part was, they were all having a pizza then in the other room on Saturday and I had to stay in the kitchen, because I had “made it awkward for everyone.” I don’t think I made a thing awkward. To be fair, tis always the man of the house that gets blamed. It’s women who give the mixed signals. So, there I was anyway, sitting inside in the kitchen on my own, like. Billy –no- mates. Starving to death. There wasn’t even a scrap of pizza left for me! Imagine the cheek of her, like. I was glad to see her gone. The stress of it!

She made the entire weekend pure awkward. In all fairness, like. I only shifted her. She’d want to calm it all the way down.

main image via critterconsulting.com

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