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At this time of year, you’re probably scratching your head – and your wallet – to find the perfect gift for your other half. You’re looking for the kind of present that shows effort, care and deep knowledge of your beloved. But what if he/she has been unfaithful? Do they still deserve a present? Of course! And here are some useful ideas:
An energy drink
‘A change is as good as a rest’ doesn’t apply to the realm of love. Venturing outside the boundary of a relationship and into new pastures is a very tiring affair: there are double the number of appointments, anniversaries, and pet names to remember, and double the number of carefully chosen gifts to be produced. Your cheating partner needs an energy drink.
Some people cheat because they ‘need to find myself’. Others cheat because they felt unattractive. Others can’t even admit to themselves that they are cheating (‘I’m not that kind of person!’). All they need is a good mirror.
A box with a lid
Chances are that your unfaithful partner is dying to tell you all about their affair – raunchy details included – to lighten their conscience. If you don’t want to hear, give them a lidded box to speak into and then close the lid tightly.
A paper diary
Keeping track of where and when they’re meeting their lover, as well as the official cover-up story, is mind-numbingly complicated. Erasing a digital calendar’s worth of evidence is much more bothersome than throwing a paper diary into the fireplace.
It doesn’t sound like much, but it’s a credit note for a forgiveness transaction. This is what you’ll write:
I’ve decided to forgive you for cheating on me. I’ve come to understand that being unfaithful is something that can happen to anyone, even to the most honest and upright person. Therefore, it could even happen to me. So I forgive you. (And now you owe me one.)