A Non-Exhaustive List of Thinkpieces I Am Willing To Write For Money

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As more and more content goes online, we face an unprecedented need for opinions, perspectives and hashtag hot takes. As such, for the purpose of any editors needing a quick article, I have prepared the following list of topics that I am willing to write about for a digital magazine, newsletter or Millennial based vertical for one Bitcoin.

Why Taking A Photo Of Someone Taking A Selfie Is A Radical Act

Reverse Racist Things I Have Said About My Parents Who Are White

Is Misandry Real? Twitter Screams No And Yes Simultaneously

Dexter Was A Metaphor For Someone On Reddit Too Much

Still No Proof That Joseph Gordon-Levitt Isn’t Really An Alien As Documented on Third Rock From The Sun

Why My Sitcom Called 30 Rock From The Sun Isn’t About What You Think It Is

Okay, You Got Me, It Is

You’re Not Allowed To Like That Thing You Like But I Am, A Slam Poem

What I Learned Having Erotic Dreams About Michael D. Higgins

Why Getting This Ridiculously Large Tattoo On A Whim Is A Radical Act

Playing Cards Against Humanity Is Better Than Having A Personality Since Life Is Chaotic But Mostly Within Set Defined Boundaries

More Like St Patriarchy’s Day, amirite

You Could Probably Fit Your Whole Body In A Cow Given Enough Time

CSI: Cisgender Is A Cool Name For A Tumblr, Right Kids

Spice Girls and Spice Bags, A Tweetstorm in Four Parts

I Have No Opinion On 9/11

GamerGate Made Me Stop Liking Eggs And That’s Okay

Why Celebrity Deaths Are Really About You

Minecraft Sounds Sorta Nazi, Right? Hmm

One Simple Trick That Stops You Sweating Forever (Death)

Legalise Marijuana So We Don’t Have To Make Small Talk With Criminals

Not Enough Porn Stars Wear Wedding Rings

In My Head Canon I Am Otherkin As A Brony

Pro-lifers and Profilers Are Anagrams, Make U Think

Why Writing Headlines Instead of Full Articles Is A Radical Act

Someone Should Google For Me Why We Don’t Serve Children Alcohol

Uh Oh, Spaghetti-Os

I Will Write For Exposure, But Only Of My Body

Why If It’s Problematic, Systematic, Hydromatic, Why it’s Grease Lightning

Satire Is Dead But Punching Down Is Very Much Alive

I Don’t Want To Be In Politics And That’s Why You Should Vote For Me

Why Writing About Radical Acts Is a Radical Act

Just a small selection from the human-skin bound volumes of articles I am willing to write for dosh, spondoolicks or filthy, filthy lucre. Haters don’t @ me, I’ve already disappeared.

Main image via dell.com

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