How to Look Like a Poet

Monday 26th January I have had three erotic poems published in one week. This, after years of unanswered emails and submissions.  It seems I have found the path to greatness and it is lined with smut and dildos. Tuesday 27th January I have…

Fifty Shades of Poetry

Monday 19th January Milly Squealed when she saw my hair. She told me to leave the office before anyone else saw me. Apparently my hair would cause uproar. She gave me a tenner to go to boots with the hissed instruction "get hair dye." As I…

Becoming a Duvet

Tuesday 23rd December I have spent the last two days in a duvet. Having the duvet on top of me did not seem to do anything for my hangover, so I unbuttoned the duvet, crawled in and curled up in the foetal position. Laura did not suffer the…